


Confessions of a Fabricated Alpha

by jaerie



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alcohol, Anxiety, Depression, Drunk Sex, Dubious Consent, F/M, Fake/Pretend Relationship, Famous Harry, Intersex Omegas, Knotting, Knotting Dildos, M/M, Masturbation, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mutual Masturbation, Non-Famous Louis Tomlinson, Non-Traditional Alpha/Beta/Omega Dynamics, Phone Sex, Public Humiliation, Public Sex, Rape, Roleplay, Secret Identity, Secret Omega, Sex Work, Tabloids, not between H & L
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-20
Updated: 2020-05-20
Packaged: 2021-03-02 18:02:30
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 18,311
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24281011
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jaerie/pseuds/jaerie
Summary: Hearing it now almost made Harry hang up the phone, but he sighed and pressed one to be connected to one of their alpha operators.  He’d already committed to this low point in his life and hanging up meant he couldn’t wallow in it and he was in a wallowing mood.“You are being connected to alpha operator number forty-four.  Rogue will be with you shortly.”The name was said in a different voice like a voice mailbox someone might have on their office phone.  It made him snort out a laugh at how stupid it all was.  It felt like a budget sex line.or famous alpha Harry Styles has a secret and paying an alpha to roleplay a relationship with him over the phone is the only way he can be himself.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Comments: 81
Kudos: 772
Collections: 1D A/B/O Fic Fest





	Confessions of a Fabricated Alpha

**Author's Note:**

> If you would like to read this but have any questions about the rape/noncon tag on this fic, until fics are revealed, leave a comment and I will give you more details! It's more on the drunk dubious consent side of things, nothing violent.

The phone only rang once before a recording started to play in a tone Harry thought most omegas probably found sexy and appealing – a mock alpha voice that was more than a touch overacted. To him, it just made his lip curl in disgust and annoyance. He hated when alphas slapped on that fake and condescending tone when they were trying to flirt. It always made him roll his eyes and wish he could slap the confident smugness from their faces. In his line of work, he had to witness it happen far too often in real time and none of them were just putting on a voice for a sex hotline. It was always their real attitude towards omegas. 

Hearing it now almost made Harry hang up the phone, but he sighed and pressed one to be connected to one of their alpha operators. He’d already committed to this low point in his life and hanging up meant he couldn’t wallow in it and he was in a wallowing mood.

“You are being connected to alpha operator number forty-four. Rogue will be with you shortly.” 

The name was said in a different voice like a voice mailbox someone might have on their office phone. It made him snort out a laugh at how stupid it all was. It felt like a budget sex line.

“Hey there sweet thing, this is Rogue,” the over acted voice came over the line and Harry had to close his eyes and bit his lip to stomach it. “How’s my little O tonight?” 

It wasn’t just one thing that made Harry pick up his phone and call the number on the low budget commercial that kept playing in the breaks of horrible late night programming. It was some kind of reality cop show, but Harry had been tuning it out for hours, his eyes not seeing or registering what was going on. It was only the music from the commercial that had played so many times before that caught his attention long enough to scribble the number onto the pad of hotel stationary always present by the phone in every room. He wondered if someone else would come along after him and rub across the indents to see that someone had been so desperate. He should probably take the whole pad with him so it wouldn’t start some scandalous headline. 

“Can you just--” Harry let out a sign and pinched the bridge of his nose as his brows furrowed. “Can you not do that? Can you just pretend that you’re my boyfriend and I’m traveling for work?” 

He hoped he didn’t sound too pathetic as he said it, too small and childish. It felt like the first time in he couldn’t remember how long that he’d been able to drop the bravado of the confident alpha act he wore on a daily basis -- at least while he was talking with another person he wasn’t related to. 

“Sure baby,” the alpha’s voice noticeably softened and Harry liked how light and airy it sounded now that he wasn’t acting out the script of some cheesy porn. It wasn’t intimidating or controlling either. It made him relax just a little. “I miss you. How was your day?” 

It sounded so genuine that Harry could probably start crying if he really let his vulnerable side out. A real relationship, a real partnership with someone he loved was the thing he longed for most in his life. It was the thing that was missing when he stepped out of the spotlight and was just Harry again. 

He took in a breath and slipped into roleplay they’d started, pretending for a moment that it was real. 

“Long. Straight off the plane to rehearsals and then some fittings before the show. Now the jet lag is killing me and I can’t sleep even though I’m exhausted.”

“Wish I could be there with you,” the alpha said wistfully and it made something in Harry’s chest ache. It felt too real. That was what he wanted. 

“I wish you were too. Always have a hard time sleeping alone.” 

“I know, baby. Did you find the hoodie I packed for you? I wore it so it would smell like me.” 

Harry let out a little whine at the thought. He was such a scenter in the most romantic and cliched way. He fantasized about missing and craving his alpha’s scent. This alpha on the phone had no way of knowing that, but he’d still hit the nail right on the head. 

He shoved his face into the duvet and pretended as he took a deep breath in. He ignored the fact that it smelled like a stale closet and imagined a scent that was comforting and warm instead. He let out a small moan of pleasure in response, nodding against the fabric. 

“There’s my good omega,” he said softly like he was endeared by the sound. “I thought you’d like that.” 

“Yeah alpha, thank you,” Harry responded, his words muffled. 

“Miss your scent, too. I have your pillow with me. You smell so good, baby. It makes me want you.” 

Harry whimpered and rocked his hips against the bed. He could easily get hard wrapped up in this fantasy and he was already well on his way. 

“Just hearing your voice has me hard, baby,” Rogue moaned, “Thought about you this morning in the shower.” 

Harry felt the familiar clench and pulse of slick that made him stifle a whimper. It wasn’t as easy for him to get wet on all his suppressants anymore, so he knew he was really in this. He slipped a hand into his boxers and moaned at the feel of the slide. 

“I’m so wet thinking about it.” 

Harry put his phone on speaker and rested it on the mattress beside his head so he had both hands free

“I bet you are. I can practically smell you from here.” Harry heard a small intake of breath over the line. “Are you touching yourself, baby?” 

Harry nodded against his pillow as his middle finger circled his hole. 

“Yeah,” his voice sounded rough as he answered. 

“Me too, baby. I’m so hard imagining that it’s you.” 

“Alpha,” Harry moaned as he pushed a finger into himself.

“That’s it, baby. Tell me what you’re thinking about.” 

The alpha’s voice was so gentle, so praising. Harry felt more slick gather and he grinded his erection against the mattress under his weight. 

“Thinking about you, alpha, your fingers in me.” He heard Rogue groan and it urged him on, even if he had never felt any fingers in himself but his own. “Your fingers and then your knot.” 

“Not yet, baby. I have to wind you up a bit first. I’m going to finger you for a while, tease you a bit.” 

Harry couldn’t hold back the moan as he pushed his finger in deep. 

“You’re so tight and wet, baby, just like always.” 

Harry swore and curved his wrist to get two fingers into himself. He’d never been more thankful to have long fingers as he curled them and stroked the way that made him feel so good, the way he rarely took the effort to. 

“Can’t wait to get inside you, you always feel so good around my cock, baby.” 

Harry moaned and got his knees under himself just enough so he could fuck himself down onto his fingers. It felt so good as he thought about the alpha’s thick fingers and the fat cock he was probably stroking with his other hand. Harry had never taken an alpha’s cock, but he knew he wanted it. He remembered what it was like for the thick knotted dildo to slide into him for the first time back when he started to go through heats. He knew a real alpha would be better. 

“You want that, baby?” the alpha asked and Harry gasped out a sure yes. “Yeah, baby, I’m gonna tease you with the tip first. So wet for me…” 

Harry grunted and fucked down onto three fingers, writhing as they weren’t enough but were also a lot. It wasn’t often that Harry had more than one finger slipped in as he jerked off quickly and efficiently. 

“Want you in,” Harry whined, “Enough teasing.” 

“Okay, baby, 

At that moment Harry wished he could get away with traveling with a knotted dildo. It wasn’t that he wasn’t allowed to, there were just so many rules about items that might tie him to being omega and expose him that he just assumed personal items were off limits as well. And he rarely felt the need to indulge in more than a quick orgasm. 

“Fuck, you’re always so tight,” the alpha moaned and Harry was right there with him. 

“Yes, yes,” Harry breathed as he fucked down on his fingers. “Alpha, knot me.” 

That pulled a deep groan from the other end of the line that had Harry coming all over the stiff hotel sheets beneath him. He must have been loud enough that Rogue knew what had happened because he could hear what was probably a faked orgasm through the speaker. 

“That was so hot, baby.” 

“Haven’t come like that in a long time, Rogue,” Harry said as the all the unfamiliar furnishings he’d been blind to through his arousal started to ruin the fantasy. 

“It’s Louis,” the alpha said in a tone that made Harry feel more than just a client calling into a sex line. 

“I’m Harry,” he responded and then hid his grin against the pillow. He was being stupid, but he allowed himself to hold it for a moment. 

“Sweet dreams, Harry,” Louis said, “Don’t stay away too long.” 

And then their call was over. Harry moved over to the side of the bed not soiled by his jizz and fell asleep hard. 

  
  


-

  
  


“Earth to Harry. You in there?” 

Harry started and looked to his manager sitting in the chair across from where he was slouched on the couch in his hotel suite. 

“Sorry, what?” 

Sitting through schedule run downs were a normal part of Harry’s day, but he couldn’t keep himself focused. He blamed it on missing his early morning run that he was sure his security detail was more than happy about. Harry had a hard time sleeping, so if he was up at four in the morning, that’s when they went. The empty streets were always a nice way for him to get out without being spotted as well, but he never missed the way everyone always complained about it. He’d go on his own but knew he’d catch more hell that way. 

He tried to blame that, but in reality he just wasn’t ready to acknowledge the real reason his mind kept wandering. 

“Soundcheck at noon. Fitting at two thirty. Got that?” Harry could already feel his thoughts drifting away. “Make sure you pack up here before we go since it’s straight to the airport after the show.” 

Harry nodded even though it all blended together. Jeff or Christina or Joel or whoever would direct him where he needed to go and when he needed to be there. Honestly, he could go through his whole day on autopilot with how micromanaged his schedule was. It was amazing he was even released into a hotel room alone without an agenda for a few hours a day. Everything was timed almost down to the minute leaving little room for variables. If everything was planned, the less likely something were to go wrong -- the less likely someone would find out. 

“Harry.” Fingers snapped in front of Harry’s face and he looked up to find Jeff’s concerned gaze fixed on him. “Did you take your shots?” 

Harry sighed and nodded. No wonder he was looking at Harry like he might look at a wild animal as he approached. Jeff probably thought his spaciness was a signal he was going into heat. His expression didn’t change even as Harry rolled his eyes and nodded. He had the bruises and needle marks on his thighs as proof that he’d given himself his weekly shot. It wouldn’t be the first time he’d been forced to drop his pants to prove it. Nobody ever wanted to trust him. 

It wasn’t an oncoming surprise heat that had him so in his head, but the real explanation was probably just as bad. He huffed out a small laugh at himself once Jeff was satisfied he wasn’t going to dissolve into a horny mess in front of him. He wondered what Jeff would say if he knew Harry had called a sex hotline and fucked himself on his fingers while a strange alpha called him baby. It made it sound even dirtier when he thought about it that way. 

He still couldn’t believe he’d done it, that he’d given in and pressed the buttons. More than that, he couldn’t stop thinking about it. 

_ Yeah, baby, so wet for me…  _

Harry sucked in a breath as a shiver ran through his body and straight down between his legs. Now was not a good time to slick his pants. He didn’t have time to shower again and the neutralizers only covered up so much. It wasn’t something he usually had to worry about. He rarely thought about sex when he wasn’t alone in his hotel room and even then it wasn’t common. It was easier to just not think about something he couldn’t have.

He shifted in his seat and pressed his thighs together, clearing his throat to detract from the noise he made when it felt good to do so which was counterproductive. 

He would die of embarrassment if he couldn’t keep himself together and was forced to wear slick tampons when he wasn’t even in heat. Biting his lip, even the thought of sliding a tampon in made him clench around nothing.  _ Fuck. _ Maybe he  _ was _ going into heat. That thought should never be arousing.

Casually he stood and sauntered over to his toiletries bag to slip out his thermometer. He turned and quickly pressed it to his forehead. 

99.1 – spot on to his normal body temperature. Omegas always ran a touch warmer and Harry was consistent as ever. At least that eased his mind. 

Soon he was shuffled off to lunch and then to soundcheck, going through the motions on autopilot. The show had been rehearsed and performed so many times that he didn’t really need to think about the specifics. He only had to turn it on when it came to the show which wasn’t for another handful of hours. 

It wasn’t until later that Jeff caught him by the arm and spun him back around into the green room. Harry didn’t miss the audible gasp the catering worker let out seeing a beta grab not just an alpha in such a way, but a  _ famous _ alpha. It was such a social etiquette foul. If only she knew where he really ranked. 

“Seriously, what’s going on with you?” Jeff hissed once they were alone. 

Harry pulled his arm away and for a moment, his defensive walls shot up. He opened his mouth to dispute anything Jeff was about to accuse him of, but then just shook his head and sighed as he ran his fingers through his hair. It wasn’t worth denying. He knew he was acting strange. 

“Sorry. Just in my head a bit today,” he said and rested his hands on his hips as his shoulders slouched forward. Just for a minute in this private corner he could drop the act and bravado he had to carry around in public. 

The world knew him as Harry Styles™: Alpha Rockstar. Every part of his image was carefully crafted to portray alpha dominance, sex appeal to make all the young omegas swoon and support the massive empire that had been built for him. They set him on top as an omega in disguise and it all became heavy on his shoulders sometimes. Every time it felt like too much, like he was ready to step away from everything for a chance to just be himself, Harry would step on stage and remember why he wanted any of it to begin with. The stage was his home. It was his favourite place in the world. Each show pushed him to deal with everything for just a little bit longer. 

Yet it was his nature to be someone’s omega. He longed to have an alpha at home to let him just give up control sometimes. He loved what he did but sometimes he just wanted to be coddled and allowed to let his walls down. 

There weren’t many in his crew that knew about his secret but there were enough. A select few employed by the label to watch his every move, trained to pull him from view at even the slightest lapse into any omega tendency. Jeff was one of his best friends, but he also had the most on the line. He was the first to call Harry out at even the subtle tilt of his head or the wrong wording. Sometimes Harry had to consider him his enemy. 

“You need to get it together. You stood down when that alpha tech met you in the hall. You can’t be slipping up like that.” 

Harry sighed and pinched the bridge of his nose. Jeff was right. He wasn’t paying enough attention, he wasn’t making sure he was always aware of his body. 

“I know. Sorry.” 

He took in a deep breath and then slowly let it out. He had to put the phone call and that alpha behind him. It was just some actor anyway, just some phone sex operator that was probably a pervert who liked to hear omegas get off. 

With a small internal pep talk to himself, Harry rose to his full height, squared his shoulders and nodded. He could be that alpha. 

“There he is,” Jeff smiled and slapped him on the shoulder. 

Jeff was a beta. He’d never know what this was like for Harry, would never know how taxing it was. Showing weakness wasn’t something an alpha would do, though, and admitting it was difficult only made him seem weaker as an omega. 

Harry nodded again and it was on to the rest of their day. 

  
  


-

  
  


Louis yawned and slapped himself on the cheeks to wake up as he looked at himself in the small bathroom mirror. The shadows under his eyes were unmistakable and he wished he could just get one full night of sleep without having to drag himself out of bed for peak call times. He got off work at 5pm, ate dinner, took a nap and then it was up again by 11pm to hit the peak streak until 12:30am, another quick nap and then up again for the 2am rush. The schedule was rough but he did what he had to do. 

It wasn’t one of his aspirations in life to be a sex hotline worker. There were probably only a select few in the business who actually loved their job. For Louis, it was mostly perverted alphas getting off on power or omegas in heat who wanted him to use his alpha voice to tell them what to do. It wasn’t the worst second job in the world, but it also wasn’t how he would normally choose to spend his time. 

At least with this job he could keep it a secret that he even needed a second job in the first place. Liam, his roommate, was a paramedic on the overnight shift so he didn’t have to worry about being overheard talking dirty over his headset. 

He settled into his desk chair and logged onto the portal to mark his line as available. He had a few regulars that used his call number, but for the most part, they were transferred to him at random. 

The first thing he did was scroll through the tips that had been added to his account since the last time he’d logged in. There was always a delay after each call so it was always a little boost to see at least a few dollars when he logged in again the next day. Just as he’d done every day for the past few weeks, Louis scrolled all the way down through all of his activity until he came to the line he couldn’t stop thinking about. It had been his most unusual yet most genuine call he’d ever taken and it was difficult to get the sound of his voice out of his mind. 

The omega had sounded distressed and lonely, in need of something he’d called a stranger to get. It made him worry that he was with an abusive alpha or something and it had weighed on him. Even more confusing was the five thousand dollar tip that had been deposited in his account from the same caller that night. It still blew his mind and was the first time Louis wished he could speak with one of his clients again. He just wanted to make sure the omega was okay. He thought about him almost every day. 

The first few calls of the night were much the same as they always were. He read things from the scripts he’d created over his time doing this so he didn’t have to overthink while he talked people off over the phone. He’d perfected the tone of his voice to sound like he was getting off with them though he rarely ever did. Actually, there had only ever been a few times. Once when he logged on when he was a little too tipsy, a few times on the edge of rut and then the time with Harry. 

He blushed every time he thought of it. Harry was the first sex line client that had a voice that went straight to his dick and Harry was just so genuinely into it. Most callers were just as overacted as Louis was. No one called in for an organic experience. That had been a first. 

Louis was right in the middle of popping his fictional knot in some desperate omega’s mouth when he received an alert from a caller request. Requests usually tipped better so he hit the button to accept and hold and hoped they could hang on just a few more minutes. The omega on the other end of the line was already whining through their orgasm so it surely wouldn’t be much longer. 

Maybe he rushed the end of the call a little bit, but he didn’t think the blissed out O even noticed. Louis was all about some big tips tonight. He switched to his waiting requester and got right into it. 

“Hey sexy, you calling your alpha back for more?” Louis asked in his seductive and teasing voice. 

“Hey Lou, it’s Harry.” 

The deep voice and the name made Louis fumble and nearly kick the keyboard off the desk where his feet had been propped up. His heart rate picked up just to hear him again. And  _ Lou. _ He’d never been more glad to have gone against protocol and given out his real name in his life. The nickname sounded so perfect to his ears when he would have slapped it off of anyone else’s lips. It was too easy to melt for him. 

“Hey baby, how are you?” 

His voice was so fond he rolled his eyes at himself. He had no idea if that was the game Harry wanted to play during this call. Maybe last time had just been some kind of kinky foreplay even if his instinct could tell it was not. 

“Exhausted actually.”

Louis could hear it in the omega’s voice. “Yeah? Are you in bed now? How was your day?” 

He’d spoken to this stranger once and already found himself genuinely wanting to know. 

“Yeah, made it back to the hotel finally. It was a long day of doing things I didn’t want to do.” 

“You know that you don’t have to let anyone force you to do anything, right?” 

Louis hoped it was a subtle question since he couldn’t stop himself from asking. The question of this omega’s safety and wellbeing had weighed heavy on him since their first conversation. He just needed to know that he was alright. 

A heavy sigh came over the line. Not a good sign. 

“It’s not anything like that. Just obligations that come with the job. I don’t really have a choice but I knew what I was signing up for. It’s just dinner and stuff with someone I don’t want to spend my time with.” 

Louis relaxed but only just a little. It was a vague answer. It was also an answer that could be interpreted as Harry being forced to be some sort of escort which didn’t sit well either. 

“But you’re safe?” 

“Always safe. Too safe maybe.” Another long sigh. “I’m just glad I can be myself when I talk to you.” 

“Always, baby. You can always be yourself with me.” 

“Just want to be your omega tonight.” 

“Always my omega, too. I can practically scent how tired you are from here. Still smell so good, though.” 

Harry let out a small whine that made the hairs on Louis’ arms prickle and stand on end. The physical reactions he had to this omega were so wild, especially at such a distance. He couldn’t even remember a time that had happened with a person physically in his bed. 

“Miss you,” Harry murmured with a small sniff. That was all the confirmation Louis needed that the roleplay was continuing from their last phone call. It also confirmed that Harry had been crying at some point recently. 

“You okay baby?” Louis asked gently. 

“Yeah. Just wish I could be there. It gets so lonely at night.” 

It was supposed to be an act but Louis could tell that it was heavy with truth. Maybe he’d eventually get the whole story. For now, Louis knew this omega just needed someone to be there. 

“Wish you could be here too, baby. Can’t wait to spoon you to sleep when you get home. I won’t let you go all night.” 

Harry let out a little whimper that made Louis tingle. 

“Please, alpha.” 

“I’ve got you, baby. What do you need?” 

“Your knot. Been thinking about it since last time.”

Louis’ dick twitched with the pulse of his knot. He didn’t even know what this omega looked like and he was aroused. 

“Have you? It was that good?” Louis answered with just the right amount of practiced smugness in his voice. 

“Slicked my pants everytime I started thinking about it. Really inconvenient, honestly.” 

Louis grinned and all his blood rushed south. 

“That’s sexy. Wish I could have taken advantage of that. Are you close to heat, baby?” 

Harry’s voice sounded a little distant when he answered. “No, never have heats.” 

That was odd. Omegas usually scheduled in at least one heat a year from what he knew. “Never?”

“Doesn’t fit in with my work schedule, haven’t had one in years.” 

“Come home and I’ll take you through one,” slipped so naturally out of his mouth that for a moment he forgot Harry wasn’t really his omega. He had to squeeze himself through his sweats to ground himself. They’d only spoken  _ twice _ for fuck’s sake. But phone sex was all about roleplay. He was just too good at it now. 

“First alpha to take me through a heat, first alpha to knot me,” Harry murmured with a moan. 

“I’ll take care of you, make sure you got what you need.” 

Harry whined and Louis was definitely all in now if he wasn’t already before. He was more than ready to indulge. 

“Where are you, baby?” Louis murmured as he palmed himself to get in the mood. 

His answer came a little muffled. “Bed in my hotel room.” 

Louis smirked to himself. “Gonna get all those clean sheets all dirty for me?” 

“Already am,” he whined. God, Louis should not be this easy. 

“Already slick for me and we haven’t even started.” 

“Yeah, was touching myself before I called. Wanted to hear your voice when I came.” 

Fuck, this omega was a dream. Nothing about it sounded overly raunchy or rehearsed. It was always such a turn off when it did. 

“I’ll talk you through it, baby. Are you still touching yourself?” 

Muffled and whispered, Harry moans a  _ yeah _ over the line. 

“Are you wet?” 

“ _ So _ wet.” 

“Yeah, that’s my baby. I bet you got yourself all worked up for me before you called.” Another whimper. “Ready to take my knot already, aren’t you?” 

“Yeah, alpha, want it.” 

Louis pulled himself out and was so glad he’d invested in the bluetooth headset fit snugly over his head. It was going to be so much better with both hands free. 

He circled his fingers and thrust up into his hand with a deep moan. “Yeah, baby, you’re so fucking tight.” 

Louis fumbled around in his drawer for some lube, fucking up into one fist while the other squeezed around the swollen base of his cock. 

“You fucking your fingers for me, baby?” Louis panted and moaned with the answering  _ yes _ . “I’m so deep, you feel so good.” 

“I’m close,” Harry whimpered and the following moan had Louis rushing to catch up. It hit him hard when he did a few moments later, holding nothing back as he moaned his way through it. 

Embarrassingly, it took him a few moments to come back to the present to remember that Harry was paying by the minute and probably didn’t want to be charged for Louis’ after orgasm glow. 

“How do you always make it feel so much better?” Harry mumbled and sounded sated and lazy and mumbled against the pillow. 

“Biology,” Louis said with an amused chuckle. 

“No, I think it’s more than that,” the words come through a yawn. 

Their phone call was connected via sex hotline. All logic said that biology was exactly what it was yet that didn’t explain why Louis had been so preoccupied with thinking about the omega since that first call. 

Louis shook his head. It was only because having a nice omega caller was a rarity. That was all it was. He was horny and a nice omega with a sexy voice had been transferred over to him at the right time. 

But if Harry wanted to think so, Louis wasn’t going to change his mind. He was Louis’ most tolerable client, likeable even. He didn’t want to scare him off. 

“Must be meant to be,” Louis said with a grin as he cleaned himself up. He always hated the way lube and come started to get tacky between his fingers almost immediately. 

“Guess we’re one of the lucky few.” 

Louis sat back with his eyes closed and let himself imagine that that was true for at least a little while. True connections like that were mostly made up, but he wasn’t immune to romantic thoughts. Plus, wasn’t he paid to let people have their fantasies? He figured he was allowed to have his own once in a while. 

  
  


-

  
  


Harry crossed his arms firmly over his chest and stood his ground in the most solid alpha stance he could manage. It wasn’t difficult after having so many years of practice but there was still something about it that made it feel foreign like a set of ill fitting clothes. 

“No. I’m not doing it.” 

Harry knew he was testing his limits with the PR team sent in to set up his stunts for this tour, but he was done with their ideas already. Consenting to be seen out with some omega model on his arm was one thing, but public scenting? No. 

For one, Harry wasn’t even sure he knew how to pull off a good show of it. He had never even been in a relationship on the receiving end of possessive alpha behaviour so how was he supposed to know what to do? It would never look realistic without practice and he was  _ not _ going to practice. Just the thought was humiliating. 

For two, he was not on board with their plan for the rest of the tour. The omeganizer image was to keep people from questioning, to keep people from wondering why he never dated. He hated it, but it was something he could deal with. But a long term relationship? A  _ prebonding _ courtship? Absolutely not. That was taking things too far. 

“You  _ will _ do it. Your fans have started to pick up on some of your behaviours and question what you say in interviews. We need to steer those thoughts away from omega and present you as a sensitive and romantic alpha. You’ve only done this to yourself so here we are.” 

Harry flinched. Lying had never been something Harry was proud of. Dodging questions and giving vague answers was the only way he could live with himself sometimes. He knew his team hated it but there were some things he had to do so he could sleep at night. Like refusing to publicly scent some stranger. He wouldn’t publicly scent someone even if he’d been born alpha and brought to this point in his life without pretending. 

Harry steeled himself and tensed his jaw. “I won’t.”

“Let me remind you, Mr. Styles, that you are bound to this by contract and failure to follow through will be considered a termination of your employment and result in legal action against you.” 

Harry faltered internally but didn’t let it show. It wasn’t the first time he’d been threatened and it wouldn’t be the last. He knew they were bluffing -- at least reasonably sure they were bluffing. He had the highest grossing tours for the label two years in a row. They would never drop that much revenue over a publicity stunt. He hoped they wouldn’t, anyway. He had too much leverage in the situation. 

“I’m not doing it. It’s obscene and disrespectful. I’m not going to set an example of objectifying omegas like that.” 

It felt like a tiny victory when the beta with her phone always attached to her hand threw them up into the air in exasperation. It was short lived when the alpha of the team rose and took several purposeful steps towards him. 

“I think you’ve forgotten what you really are,” the alpha said, a towering mass above him. “You don’t get to call the shots and it stopped being cute that you think you can a long time ago. You will do as you’re told or we will expose and ruin you. Do you understand?” 

The alpha timbre being used on him made him feel crushed down to the size of a grain of sand. His chest went tight with anxiety and his mouth went dry to kill any response he wanted to have. He was only an alpha to them when he was making them money. The ones who knew were always quick to put him in his place. He hated it, but sadly had grown used to it. The trade off was giving up his dream so he swallowed around the lump in his throat and nodded. If he didn’t just get it over with on his own he’d have an alpha voice in his ear forcing him to.

He sat through hair and make up resisting the urge to empty his stomach by pure will alone and then let them dress him up in an outfit he would never choose for a night out on his own. He knew how to blend in and flashy sequins would do the exact opposite. He frowned when he realized that was the point. 

He forced himself to slam back several shots once they were inside the club and then closed his eyes as he danced with whatsherface. He didn’t even remember the omega’s name and, even if he did, she wasn’t his type. It wasn’t that she was omega, there were plenty of omegas that Harry found attractive. It was moreso that everything she did was aimed at drawing attention to herself. Harry didn’t like that. She had her own agenda and it wasn’t innocent. 

“Do you always wear blockers?” she asked close to his ear in what she probably thought was a seductive way. Even if she wasn’t half yelling to be heard over the music she had missed the mark. “It’s okay. A lot of celebs wear blockers!” 

That was enough to cement Harry’s opinions of her. He wondered how many other rich and famous people she’d been in paid stunt relationships with. At least she apparently didn’t know his secret reasons for this arrangement. At least he didn’t have to worry about that. 

She looked over his shoulder and then bit her lip as she grinned and tilted her neck. Photographers must have arrived. They would be taken to seem like grainy cellphone photos from fans when they were sold and plastered all over the internet in the morning. Great. 

He stared at the bare skin of her neck and nearly gagged at what he was meant to do. Her skin looked sticky with sweat and everything about her scent was bitter to his senses. Dragging his nose along her skin sounded as appealing as shoving his face into a sweaty shoe. 

He hesitated and then caught sight of the alpha they’d sent to keep him in line. The icy glare that greeted him was a cold reminder of the alpha voice that had twisted him into obeying. It made his skin crawl. 

The only way he could do it was to hold his breath and hope that the omega wouldn’t call him out. She threaded her fingers into his hair as soon as he leaned forward and it was difficult to resist the urge to slap them away. His normal pap walks were some tame hand holding leaving the club or a peck on the cheek putting someone in a cab at the hotel. Now everything felt too intimate even if he was only pretending. 

He made a show of it so he was sure the cameras caught the gesture so they wouldn’t have to do it again. She tried to hold him there as he went to pull away, letting out an exaggerated whine that probably made sex starved alphas want more. It did nothing for Harry. Nothing but cement his opinion of her. It made his stomach twist to realize he was going to come across as a shallow alpha only courting someone for sex. A quick google search would probably turn up the countless high profile relationships this omega had been in. She would never be Harry’s type yet the world would now think she was. 

It made his stomach churn yet again. 

“I’ve gotta-- yeah,” Harry motioned towards the restrooms and twisted out of her grasp. 

He pushed the door open and then locked himself into one of the dimly lit stalls. Maybe his career really wasn’t worth all this. He’d been smart with his money. He could survive on that until he figured out how to move on. 

Someone pounded on the stall door and it made him jump. “Harry, car’s here.” 

He signed and wished he was already home before he pushed himself off the wall and unlocked the door. 

Cameras were flashing as he stumbled out of the club with the omega hanging onto his arm. He wasn’t even trying to look drunk but that damn omega kept tripping him.

He let her into the car first and then climbed inside. They’d drop her off in a couple blocks and then he could finally pretend like none of it ever happened. 

That was hard to do when as soon as the door slammed shut, the omega was climbing onto his lap and crowding into his space. He was so shocked at first that he just sat there while she made herself comfortable and grabbed his face with her hands. Her mouth was hot but not in a pleasant way. It was like the stifling heat of a humid summer that was too wet and smelled horrible. He tried to turn his face to get away from it. 

Having the opposite effect, she started to attack his neck, whispering words that made his soul try to evacuate his body. 

“I’m not wearing any underwear,” she said as she ground down against his crotch and Harry nearly vomited all over the car. 

He pushed her away on instinct, only feeling a tiny shred of guilt when she slid to a heap halfway on the floor in the narrow space. His teeth ground together as he saw the disgusting dark patch on the crotch of his pants. Slick, but not his own. His hands were shaking to clean it away, to rip his pants off and shove them out the window. 

“What’s your problem?” 

She sounded angry as she unfolded herself and climbed back onto the seat beside him. Harry didn’t care. He turned towards the window and took shallow breaths through his mouth to escape the scent he already associated with everything wrong with his life. 

“Do you realize how lucky you are? Do you even know how many alphas would be crawling over you to get at this?” 

“So go,” Harry said in monotone, breathing a sigh of relief as the car came to park along the curb. 

He tuned her out as she huffed and started voicing her complaints to his chaperone. He still didn’t care. 

He waited until she was out of the car before he let the tears come, sliding down his cheeks silently as the lights of the city flashed by in a watery blur. None of it was far. The  _ world _ wasn’t fair. Maybe if he had been older when all this started he could have stood up for himself or had the foresight to know just how bad it would get. It had seemed like such a simple solution back then. 

Still tripping over his pants around his ankles as he tries to get them off, Harry had his phone in his hand dialing the number he already had saved in his contacts. He pressed 44 when prompted and tried to get a hold of the sobs wracking his body. 

“Harry, baby, it’s good to hear from you,” Louis’ voice came over the line after only a few seconds of hold music. Just hearing the familiar sound made Harry lose it, sobbing into the phone without being able to stop. 

He could tell Louis was alarmed but not much else as he got it out of his system, dwindling down to sniffles and hiccups faster than he expected. The alpha’s tone was soothing and calming, centering him before he could completely spiral out of control. He was being charged by the minute just for Louis to listen to him sob, but he didn’t care if that was what he got to listen to. A large phone bill was a worthy trade off. 

“Now can you tell me what’s wrong?” His voice sounded so gentle. 

“I can’t,” Harry whispered. 

Even with Louis being a complete stranger, someone who didn’t know him at all, Harry couldn’t tell him the truth. It would be too obvious. It would ruin him. It would be a story to both out him and make headlines as a sex fiend spending his time on alpha sex hotlines. He could see the bold accusatory headlines now. 

“It’s got to be something, baby,” Louis’ voice was so soothing, so so calming. 

“I don’t like pretending to be something I’m not,” he finally answered softly. 

“You should always be yourself. That’s what makes you special.” 

And they were such wise words in almost any other scenario but so naive in his.

“I can’t. If I don’t pretend to be alpha, I’ll lose my job.” 

There was silence over the line for a moment. Maybe he’d said too much. Maybe he’d gone too far. He could always just hang up. 

“That’s sexist,” Louis finally said, quickly getting defensive. “We should sue. They can’t do that to you.” 

“I agreed to it when I took the job. I didn’t really think it through all the way, but it is what it is.” 

“You can’t just let them make you do that! There are a lot of omega rights groups out there now more than willing to help in situations like that! Things have come a long way, even in the past few years!” 

“It’s not that easy. Can we just… Can we just not talk about it?” 

His head throbbed in time with his heart rate, the lingering effects of his sobs. He didn’t need or want someone swooping in thinking they could fix everything for him. He just needed someone to be there while he worked through everything that came with his situation. His job wasn’t a real job. There would be no omega rights group swooping in to right the wrongs. The music industry knew how to bury things or use things as weapons. 

Though he appreciated this alpha’s stance on omega equality, it would be easier if they just swept it under the rug so he could pretend. 

“Sure, baby,” Louis answered softly. “So how are you, other than that? Where are you calling me from?” 

“My hotel bed,” Harry sniffed, “Just got back from the bar.” 

“Living it up without me?” Louis chuckled. It made Harry smile. 

“Never. It was for work,” he actually giggled. 

“Lies! You can’t go to a bar for work!!” 

Harry’s mood was already lifting, even if all of it was an act. He needed to remove himself from it all once in a while. His previous calls with Louis had taught him that. 

“I was with a client!” Harry laughed and started to craft his fictional occupation in his head. “I had to wine and dine and impress them!” 

“Now you’re making me jealous,” Louis answered, not missing a beat. “You leave your poor alpha back home so you can go out on the town. I see how it is!” 

“Noo!!” Harry laughed, “You know it’s not like that. You know I hate being away from home… How was _ your _ day?” 

“Well, I went to work and then took a nap and then sat here patiently waiting for your call.” 

It was part of the act, part of the storyline they were playing out, but Harry still wanted it to be true. “You did not.” 

“I did, actually. I set my status as available and then watched Netflix until your number came up.”

“Is that how it works then?” Harry asked curiously. He wasn’t sure how the whole sex line operator thing worked. He’d half imagined a call center like the ones he’d heard about in India. A whole floor of cubicles filled with alphas talking dirty for pay. 

“A phone?” Louis said with a small and slightly nervous laugh. Oh yeah. They were roleplaying. He wasn’t supposed to ask about real things. “But yeah, I can see it’s you calling again.” 

That, for some reason, made Harry blush. Obviously they both knew they’d spoken before, but acknowledging that Louis could tell it was him made him feel shy. 

“I love talking to you, baby,” Louis cooed and it made Harry feel warm as the butterflies stirred in his stomach. Louis was a good actor. “I was even thinking about you earlier. I was wondering when you were going to call.” 

“I can’t always slip away with enough time before I pass out,” Harry said, a yawn overtaking him on cue. “On show days it can be well past midnight before I find a bed.” 

He knew his mistake as soon as it was out of his mouth. His jaw snapped shut with a clack of his teeth and he froze with eyes wide. 

“Show days, huh? I’m sure every day is a show day with you around.” 

Harry breathed a small sigh of relief that it didn’t seem like Louis was going to press. It was bad enough that Louis probably knew he was famous for the amount of money he’d been tipping. He just couldn’t help it. Maybe it was parading around as an alpha for so long, but Harry felt the need to show his appreciation to Louis with gifts, to make sure he was taken care of. It felt like the one thing he could do when the alpha agreed to go along with his little fantasy relationship and had put up with him crying more than once. Hopefully Louis was respectful enough not to question it. 

“I’m rather boring most of the time,” Harry said with a small chuckle. And it was true. He really was a boringly average person without the stage clothes and glam. He’d spent his time learning to knit on his last tour. 

“I’m sure you’re not. You’re my omega, aren’t you?” Louis said fondly, “I’d never mate a boring omega.” 

That word made Harry’s stomach flutter. The idea that he could actually have an alpha, a  _ mate _ . That was so unreal to him. 

“Only interesting when I’m with you,” Harry said, blushing and thankful Louis wasn’t there to see him. Even through a lie, Louis was the only one he could be himself with. Maybe it was only emotional truth, but that felt more substantial than any truth about his job. 

“That’s all that matters,” he could hear the smile in Louis’ voice, “You have to be yourself with someone, right?” 

Harry smiled to himself and nodded. That was exactly what he wanted. 

  
  


-

  
  


“What’s up with that expression?” Liam asked Louis as he plopped down on the couch next to him. “It looks like you just discovered sour milk.” 

Louis scoffed but tried to school his features. 

“Nothing. It’s just these knotheads that are always in the celebrity news.” 

“What now?” Liam asked and reached over to tilt Louis’ phone. 

“That Harry Styles asshole. I mean, look at him,” Louis gestured to his phone. “He’s dating that whore of a model that was all over Justin Bieber’s knot and they’re practically fucking in public.” 

Louis wasn’t that invested in celebrity news, but he at least scanned through the headlines on his phone so he wasn’t completely out of the popular culture loop. When Harry Styles became popular with all the young omegas, Louis had seen his name around. He would have pegged him for an O until he started making his rounds dating all the A through D list of famous omegas. At least before it was hardly a passing comment about the new fling. 

Now it was hard to open any news on his phone without being bombarded by the kid in all types of inappropriate positions. This photo was grainy, but it was clear they were only about one layer of clothing away from fucking right there in the club. He was a famous millionaire. You’d think he had plenty of private places to sneak off to. Unless exhibitionism was his thing. If that was the case, Louis wasn’t about to kink shame, but he didn’t want to see it either. 

“Jess says he’s not really like that,” Liam said as he let Louis have the phone back. “It’s just for publicity and stuff.” 

“Doesn’t seem like it’s just for publicity,” Louis grumbled and frowned at the picture on the screen. “Plus, how would she know?” 

“Oh, I thought you knew. She went to school with him or something,” Liam answered with a shrug. Jess was his girlfriend but they hadn’t been dating for long enough for Louis to know much of anything about her let alone that she knew famous knothead musicians. 

Louis rolled his eyes. “Does it look like that is something I would magically know?” 

Liam rolled them right back. 

“She has passes to his show here next week I think. Hey! Why don’t you come with us? She had one for her sister too but she can’t get out of work.” 

“Why would I want to do that?” Louis scoffed. 

“So you can see for yourself he’s not a knothead!” 

“And if he is?” 

“Then you can say ‘I told you so’. I know how much you love being right.” 

Winning against Liam was one of Louis’ favourite things to do. It was a life goal, really. Liam was just too easy to get riled up. This could be something for him to use against Liam for months to come. 

“Deal.” Louis nodded and went back to scrolling through the pictures of sleazy Harry Styles and his sleazy omega. Gross. 

He jumped when he heard the familiar beeps coming from his room and bounced up off the couch. Right on schedule. Or mostly on schedule. Since they’d been speaking regularly, Harry would always call around the same time for a couple weeks in a row and then it would change to another time for a few weeks after that. Louis knew that Harry actually did travel for whatever it was that he did for a living, but the frequency of the time changes made Louis exhausted just thinking about it. 

He’d gotten into the habit of leaving himself signed into the system whenever he was home so he wouldn’t miss a call if the times changed. Harry had become one of the brightest spots in his life and he was willing to mold his own time to make room for the omega. And the money wasn’t bad either. 

He often wondered what the omega did for a living that he could afford such lengthy calls at around a dollar a minute. Unless one of them had something to do, their calls usually ran about an hour and then the omega always tipped on top of that. Most of the calls didn’t even involve sex anymore and Louis had even pondered giving Harry his personal number so it wasn’t so expensive. Logically he knew it wasn’t a real relationship, but he still really enjoyed their conversations. 

Pulling on his headset, Louis answered the call with a grin and ignored the way Liam mocked his urgency through the door. Liam still didn’t know what Louis did as his side hustle, but he knew enough to put the pieces together about Louis talking to someone of interest. He resisted the urge to tell Liam to fuck off as he answered the call. 

“Hey baby,” Louis cooed and wondered what kind of mood Harry would be in today. 

Sometimes things were a rollercoaster when it came to Harry. Of course he didn’t know the real details, but Harry was obviously in a situation that his emotions often got the best of him. Louis didn’t mind being his shoulder to cry on when it seemed like he just needed a place to let it out. Louis knew what it was like to be in that position. Maybe it wasn’t in the same way, but he knew what it was like to hold things in to keep up appearances. 

“Hey Lou.” Harry sounded almost breathless, but it didn’t sound like he was crying. “I got the thing you told me to get.” 

Louis smirked. He knew exactly what Harry was talking about, but he wasn’t going to let him off easily. 

“Oh yeah? What did you get?” 

“Louuuu!” Harry whined which made Louis’ grin widen. 

“I’ve told you to get a lot of things, I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

“It was hard enough to get it! Don’t make me say it!” 

“If you can’t say it, then you shouldn’t have it,” Louis bit his lip to control his expression even if no one was there to see it. 

“I had to ship it to our next hotel and bribe someone to let me put it in their name but not open it. It felt like a secret mission.” 

“I’m glad it worked out, baby, but what is it?” 

“Louis!” Harry groaned and then lowered his voice to a whisper like someone might overhear. “ _ A knotting dildo. _ ” 

“Ooooooh,” Louis could practically hear Harry blushing through the phone. He leaned over and clicked the lock of his bedroom door before shoving a blanket around the crack at the bottom. He had no idea if it helped the way sound traveled in their apartment, but at least it made him feel like it did. Usually Liam wasn’t home when he did this and then Harry came along and changed everything. 

“Yeah, now I have to figure out a way to hide it in my suitcase.” 

“Maybe you should store it in your carry on. That way everyone in security will be too embarrassed to acknowledge it,” Louis laughed. 

“I’d rather die, honestly,” Harry whined, “I’m being serious! I’m going to have to hide it in the lining of my suitcase or something.” 

“Worth it, babe. Is that why you called? Ready to try it out?” 

“I’ve been really horny all day thinking about it,” Harry whispered again which made Louis smile fondly. 

“Is someone in the room with you?” he asked and laughed, “Well then why are you whispering?” 

“I don’t know… It’s just…” Louis heard him take a deep breath and then slowly let it out. “All of this is new to me and it seems like such a secret.” 

“You don’t have to hide anything with me, baby.” 

As far as their little act went, that was true. Maybe Harry hid his job and the things in his life that caused him to feel the way he did, it didn’t change the emotions or the things that made Harry who he was. From the beginning Harry had been upfront about his inexperience and honestly it was a big turn on for Louis. Harry wasn’t innocent, but it did something to Louis to think about being Harry’s first anything and everything. Even if that would never happen for real. 

“I know. That’s why I got it. Got the one just like you.” 

Louis blushed, that conversation rushing through his mind. Harry’s pouting until Louis had given in still made him shake his head with a laugh. He was already so whipped for his –  _ not  _ his – omega. With a measuring tape out of the small sewing basket his aunt had bought him when he first moved out on his own, Louis had listened to Harry’s dirty talk until he was as hard as he could get and then unrolled the yellow vinyl to measure the length of his dick. 

Like he was ordering a custom made suit for his genitalia, Louis measured length, width, girth, and even the size of his knot when it popped. Of course the last one was just an estimate since he wasn’t inside an omega. That was a variable that depended on biology and hormones that Louis should have paid more attention to in sex ed. He at least knew the basics, knew what he needed to know. 

“Can’t believe you spent the time finding one like me,” Louis had to reach down and squeeze himself as he thought about Harry shopping for dildos until he found the perfect one. 

“Custom made. You put in the measurements and they make it for you. Unless you were lying, it will really feel like you’re fucking me.” 

Louis groaned and his eyes rolled back. That was so hot. 

  
  


-

  
  


Harry was bold and unashamed in many things that he did. It was one of the reasons why passing for an alpha was generally not an issue for him. He made daring fashion choices without a second thought and wore stage makeup because he thought it looked good. He wore as few clothes as he could get away with since he’d always been comfortable in is own skin and grabbed his crotch suggestively on stage every night. He was a king of innuendo and thrived on putting a dirty spin on as much as he could. 

Sexuality wasn’t something that Harry had a problem displaying when he was in front of an audience, even if he had to stress the alpha parts of himself. If anything, sex should have been something he would be comfortable with when he started having it. So why was he such a blushing mess with a fluttering heart rate while he touched the tip of his knew dildo to the slick between his legs? 

“Fuck, baby, can’t wait for you to ride me,” Louis’ voice was deep even through the tinny speaker of Harry’s phone. 

He could fix that. He scrambled for his studio headphones and switched the sound so Louis’ rolling alpha timbre was detectable around the edges of his voice. It wasn’t commanding yet, but maybe Harry wanted it to be. A shiver of excitement ran through him. 

“Tease yourself, baby, I want you to need it.” 

Harry bit his lip and whimpered as he positioned himself up on his knees, holding the knotting dildo vertically beneath him. He lowered just enough for the tip to touch him again and moved it until it was snug against his hole that clenched in anticipation. It had been so so long since he’d had anything but his fingers and the excitement building was a lot. He was so wet that he could feel it everywhere. 

Knowing what he was going to be doing, Harry had turned up the heat when he’d first returned to the room so he wouldn’t be shivering in the cold air while he got acquainted with his new toy. Now he regretted it, but only a little, as sweat started to gather on his skin. 

“You’re going to be so tight for me, baby, so tight,” Louis groaned and it turned Harry on to know that the strain in Louis’ voice was real. He’d told Harry that he actually got off with him each time which made everything so real. Louis was really his alpha for at least a little while as they talked each other off over the phone. 

“Saving it for you,” Harry breathed, and it was true. All his fantasies now revolved around meeting Louis for real. He’d let Louis unwrap him like a gift, let him touch every inch of his body and take what he wanted. He’d present and wait nervously until he felt the head of Louis’ cock, teasing him as the dildo was teasing him now until he’s slowly stretched open by his first real alpha cock. 

A loud moan erupted from Harry’s chest, the blunt head pushing past the resistance into his body. 

“It’s in, it’s in,” Harry gasped, body rigid yet begging for more. 

“Shit, baby, you sound so fucking good,” came Louis’ moaned response, “ _ Feel _ so good. Take more of me, baby.” 

Harry’s breath hitched as he let more of his weight down, his thighs burning as he held himself in place. Fuck. Louis was thick. 

It didn’t hurt, but it was enough that he needed to get used to it, to ease himself into it. It actually felt so good that he had to force himself to pause so he  _ didn’t _ hurt himself. 

“Still there, baby?” 

Harry’s answer came out as an embarrassing whine, but he couldn’t focus on that enough to care. He was fucking himself with Louis’ dick and that was taking up every ounce of brain power that wasn’t already scrambled with need. 

“Look so good on my dick, baby,” the sound surrounded Harry’s ears like Louis was everywhere, “Want you to take it down to the knot.” 

Harry whimpered and lowered himself down in one smooth motion, breath catching as it slid in deeper than anything had ever been, than anything he remembered. He clenched around it and his body shuddered with the intense sensation that felt like he was coming.

“Shit, baby, you’re going to make me come,” Louis moaned and Harry’s omega offered a noise from his throat that Louis immediately responded to. He sounded rushed and desperate with his next words. “Fuck, you’re going to make me knot, want to fuck you so bad, would be so much better than what’s inside you.” 

Harry’s hips started to buck against the intrusion, the mattress of the hotel bed hitting the headboard attached to the wall with a rhythmic knocking against the wall. He didn’t care if his neighbors heard as he lost himself to chasing release, his thighs and knees burning in his position. He got a hand around his own cock and jerked while he listened to Louis’ grunts through his headphones. 

It all became a blur of frenzied directions and need until the knot of the dildo was expanded inside him and his jaw dropped open as he came all over the starched white sheets. 

Since it wasn’t real, the stretch of the knot quickly became uncomfortable but he refused to take it out so soon. Instead he rocked against it and imagined being tied for real. He wondered if there would ever come a time that he could meet Louis for real. Maybe they could meet in secret and he could bring one of his standard NDA’s with him. He wasn’t even certain where Louis lived, but chances were his tour would bring him close. He never thought he’d be so close to getting what he craved. Not until after he’d retired, anyway. 

But even though he knew he would love taking Louis’ real knot, there were still the parts of him that had pretended to be alpha for so long that his fantasies sometimes followed. It was hard not to see himself in control when it was something he’d worked so hard exude. He thought about it being the other way around, about him being the one buried deep and wondered if that was strange for him to feel that way. 

“Louis?” he asked on another phone call a few days later. “Have you ever thought about switching?” 

“Switching?” Louis asked lazily. Harry knew it was early for him, but he’d still answered and insisted he stay on the line. 

“You know,” Harry blushed, “Have you ever been fucked by an omega?” 

He heard Louis choke and cough to recover. “I haven’t, no.” 

“Would you be open to that?” 

Harry’s heart raced as he waited for the answer, either way it would change something. 

“You want to put that little omega cock of yours to good use?” Harry could hear the curl of Louis’ smirk through his voice. 

“It’s not that small,” Harry pouted but wasn’t insecure about his size. Even when he stuffed his pants on stage, it wasn’t because he was insecure about his own body. 

“You want to be in charge?” 

A jolt went through his dick when it was framed that way. For playing the part of being an alpha in charge every day, he really wasn’t as in charge of his life as he should be. He wanted to be in charge of his own body and image for once. He wanted to prove that he was the same as any alpha even though he was omega. He wanted to prove to himself that it didn’t matter what their genders were. He wanted alphas to be equals. 

“I think I’d like it sometimes,” he admitted. 

“Yeah? How would you take me?” Louis used that deep voice that made Harry shudder. 

“From behind,” Harry blurted, the answer immediately on the tip of his tongue. 

“Yeah? Keep going…” 

Harry wiggled his linen sleep pants down off his hips so he could be ready for where this inevitably would go. Even though it happened, it was rare that there wasn’t at least one orgasm and Harry was ready for this new fantasy to play out. It was something he loved about their conversations. They always wandered into new ideas and neither one of them ever judged or turned it down. 

“I want you to present for me,” Harry started in his practiced, but sure, alpha voice. “I want you to present for me with your knees wide so I can see everything first.” 

He heard the small noise Louis made, probably not used to him sounding so bold. It usually took a little bit of coaxing for him to warm up. 

“I’d present for you so fast, baby.” 

Harry moaned and took his dick into his hand. He was going to draw this one out. 

“You’d look so good for me presenting like that so I can see your big alpha cock on display.” 

“You don’t want me to be your omega?” Louis asked, an edge of genuine curiosity on his words. 

“No, I don’t want to change who we are,” Harry said, “I just want to be the one doing the fucking.” 

“Fuck away,” Louis smirked and Harry imagined him gesturing with his hand. 

“I wouldn’t prep you too much because I want it to burn a little,” Harry continued as his hand worked himself slowly to hardness. 

“You want it to hurt, baby?” 

“If you’re going to stretch me open on your knot for the first time then it’s only fair. You’ll like it.” Harry grinned and imagined what the alpha’s face might look like. Louis was so vocal and his voice made it easy to imagine. He supposed that made sense since Louis was a phone sex operator. But he wasn’t right now, Harry told himself, not with him. 

“Have you ever fucked someone, Harry?” Louis asked and the use of his real name in place of baby made the question somehow more personal. Like Louis was asking him directly and not asking in the world they’d made for each other. 

“You’re going to be my first,” Harry responded and didn’t regret the way he said it. There was intention in his statement. 

“Mine too.” 

That was so hot that Louis would trust him enough to try something so different for the first time. They would both be going through it together. 

“I know it would feel so good,” Harry moaned as he slid his thumb over his wet tip. 

He wondered if those masturbators they sold for alphas would work for him. If he was going to carry around sex toys on tour, he might as well go all in and this was turning out to be something he enjoyed. He wanted to feel the sensation of pushing into something other than his fist so he could pretend as he described it over the phone to Louis. 

“Anything with you would feel good.” 

Harry came a moment later as he thought about it, not even able to make it through their fantasy. 

“Fuck. Promise I’d last longer in person.” 

“Anything you say, baby.” 

He could hear the smirk in Louis’ voice and he blushed as he cleaned himself up. 

  
  


-

  
  


Louis was distracted when he followed Liam and Jess around the back halls to wherever they were going. Backstage areas weren’t as glamorous as they always sounded. It was all cement block walls and bare floors. It reminded him a little of the high school he went to without natural light. 

He was distracted because the entire way through Harry Styles’ set, there was just something about him that seemed so familiar. It wasn’t how he connected with fans from the stage that made him relatable, it was something else, something he couldn’t quite place. He knew it wasn’t just from seeing so many articles about him online. 

He ran his hand along the wall while their shoes squeaked on the polished floor until they were led to an open space with food and a few handfuls of people milling about with the band. They looked like mostly family and friends. 

A door opened and long legged, slightly sweaty Harry Styles waltzed out of his dressing room in a fresh outfit from the sequined number he had been wearing on stage. 

“The sequins were really sharp against my nipples,” Harry said to someone’s comment, raising his fingers to press over where his nipples would be under his worn out vintage tshirt. 

Now that the voice was up close without the bravado of the stage, everything flashed before Louis’ eyes in a frenzy. He froze with wide eyes as he saw Harry, his Harry, greet Jess and start to introduce Liam. It was like a slow motion car crash that Louis knew was coming but couldn’t stop. He was braced for impact. 

And then Harry was turning to him with that brilliant dimpled smile bright on his face, everything around his silhouette blurred and dim as if he was the only person that mattered in the room. For Louis in that moment, he was. 

“And this is Liam’s roommate, Louis.” 

Voices sounded muffled like they were underwater as Louis instinctively lifted his hand to shake the one Harry was offering. 

“Hey Harry, nice to meet you.” 

He could tell the exact moment of impact as recognition and then realization hit Harry’s face. They locked eyes in shock before either of them could prevent it. Harry’s hand tightened around his and it was like feeling their heartbeats thud through their hands where their palms were still touching. 

“Louis?” His voice sounded a little squeaky but there was no doubt in Louis’ mind that this was  _ his _ Harry. His  _ omega _ . 

He subconsciously squared his shoulders and his stance as he kept his eyes on Harry’s face. He couldn’t look away. 

“Yep, I’m Louis,” he nodded in confirmation to Harry’s silent question. 

He scanned his periphery and was glad that Liam and Jess already seemed to be distracted greeting someone else on Harry’s team since his brain was screaming and he was temporarily unable to function. Harry seemed to be in the same boat, eyes darting back and forth between Louis’ like didn’t know what to do. 

Harry Styles was an alpha. Harry Styles was a famous alpha with omegas drooling over him. Harry Styles was constantly all over his omega girlfriends in public. 

Did he secretly want to be an omega? Was he really an omega? How much about his Harry did he actually know? 

He was being pulled back towards the door Harry had just come out of and the door clicked shut behind them. 

“What are you doing here?” Harry whirled around with his hands on his hips and anger on his face. 

“I’m Liam’s roommate and he invited me along. I had no idea it was you,” Louis crossed his arms over his chest, quickly getting defensive. He hadn’t done anything wrong. 

“So now you know,” Harry’s voice was cold and his eyes were hard. Louis had never heard him so angry. 

“No ‘nice to finally meet you’ or anything?” Louis scoffed. “So Harry Styles is actually an omega, huh?” 

Louis meant for it to come out to lighten the mood but he was still too shocked and it fell flat. Harry went white. 

“This can’t get out,” Harry started to pace, pulling on his lip anxiously. “So how much do you want? How much would The Sun pay you for the story?” 

“Wait, what? We meet for the first time and your first thought is that I’m going to out you??” 

“Well what am I supposed to think? You’re just some sex line worker! I don’t know what you’d do!” 

Louis’ blood ran cold. Sure they had their game, Harry was a client, but to Louis, what they had was real. Emotionally, it was real. As he watched Harry frantic and desperately trying to bribe him, Louis saw that it had never meant anything to Harry. Harry truly did call him for the anonymous sex. 

Everything drained from Louis and his arms dropped to his sides. He kept his head high and looked directly into Harry’s when he gathered everything he was feeling into two little words. 

“Fuck you.”

He marched past Harry and out the door, powering past everyone gathered and down one of the hallways without knowing where he was going. He just needed to get away since he wasn’t sure if he was ready to burst into tears or punch a wall in anger. 

“Looks like I was right, Liam,” Louis muttered to himself angrily, turning corner after corner until he was fully and completely lost in the inner tunnels beneath the stadium. “Harry Styles really is a knothead. A fucking knothead even without the knot.” 

Eventually he found his way to an exit and was glad that most of the parking lot had cleared out by then. It was easier to find a car with most of the crowd gone and he closed his eyes and leaned against the window the whole way home. 

He at least had enough sense to send Liam a quick text saying he had left, locking himself in his bedroom the moment he got back. His computer was still logged in to his account when he woke the screen and it made his stomach lurch. After scheduling the transfer for the rest of the money from his clients, Louis disabled his account without a second thought. 

Fuck Harry Styles. Fuck the Harry he thought he knew. Fuck the Harry that he was starting to get attached to. 

It was hard to come to terms with the fact that he had been naive and blind when it came to the connection he thought he had with Harry. Harry had been clear during their first conversation that they were playing pretend. It was only Louis’ own fault that he’d let himself fall in too deep. 

When he heard Liam come home a few hours later and knock on his door, he pretended to be asleep. 

  
  


-

  
  


To say that Harry was distraught and heartbroken would be an injustice to the emotion he was actually feeling. 

Blinded by tears, he had broken everything glass in his dressing room that wasn’t attached to the walls, each crash satisfying the need to vent his frustration while also piercing through his heart again and again. It felt like he was bleeding out, an uncontrollable flow of everything he’d kept pent up inside. 

Wasn’t meeting Louis exactly what he wanted? 

It was the deeply ingrained fear of being exposed that made him lash out when he’d been taken by surprise. For so many years his secrets had been used to oppress him that it had become his default reaction to the threat. There was no time to prepare himself for it when it wasn’t on his terms, when he hadn’t initiated it. 

Once again, it had ruined him. 

Louis was gone. He’d been gone for a long time once the dust settled and Harry could finally get his thoughts together to see what had happened. Everyone had been shuffled out by then. The last thing they needed were headlines about him throwing tantrums backstage. He didn’t mind playing the role of an alpha, but he never wanted to be seen as aggressive or violent. 

The journey from the dressing room and then the car ride to the hotel with Jeff were silent. It was unusual behaviour for Harry and he didn’t blame Jeff for not knowing how to handle it. It was better if they didn’t discuss it anyway. Louis was Harry’s dirty little secret and even after what had happened, Harry wasn’t about to talk about it now. He wasn’t sure he would ever tell anyone about it. 

He was allowed to go to his room with a warning that there would be a discussion in the morning. Maybe he could think up an explanation by then. 

His eyes were dry and stung when he tried to blink, all his tears dried up to leave his eyes puffy and uncomfortable. But just because they’d stopped didn’t change the clenching ache that made it hard to breathe. 

The number was saved as a favourite in his phone and he called it as soon as he sat down on the edge of the hotel bed. He clicked through the automated menus by memory, cutting off the beginning of each recording. 

It was after he keyed in Louis’ number that he finally broke down. 

“We’re sorry, the alpha operator number that you entered does not exist. Please re-enter your selection or press one to be connected to one of our—” 

Harry disconnected and tried again, hoping that his thumb had just slipped on the keys. When he got the same recording again, he let his phone fall to the floor as he dissolved into racking sobs. 

There were no thoughts, only overwhelming emotion that consumed him. When he woke up the next morning, he couldn’t even remember falling asleep. His head throbbed and his body ached like waking with a bad hangover so he could only assume he had cried to the point of exhaustion. 

He locked the door tightly on everything he felt and went through the motions of his morning on autopilot. It was easier to be numb. 

It went on like that. Each day following his minders like a zombie and performing shows that he knew weren’t his best. Every night he called the same number and the recording telling him that Louis did not exist was like another bullet through his soul. Soon there would be too many wounds for him to handle. The next might be the one to take him out. 

He started to work his way through the mini bars each night until Jeff started having them cleared before he arrived. So he started ordering bottles of wine from room service until Jeff blocked that too. Some nights, he was fine, and on others, he couldn’t handle being with himself. 

It was on those nights that found ways to sneak past the guards that were not just there to keep him safe from others anymore. He wouldn’t talk about it, but no one was naive enough to not see that something was going on. It was clear he was going through something and the people who usually loved to be around him now seemed cautious whenever he was in the room. It just made him feel even worse. 

Because of his secrets, Harry had never been one to sneak out without a guard. Even if he hated it, he knew the risks. Maybe that was why they didn’t feel it was necessary to station someone outside his door. It was stupidly easy to slip out and down a back stairwell or slip into an elevator. 

So far he’d only done it a few times, but so far nothing had gone wrong. He could blend in when he knew no one was looking for him. No one expected him to be out at some local club in the hours before last call. Everyone was usually drunk by then anyway. 

It was any college town’s dance club and Harry, for once, felt the illusion of fitting in. The alcohol pumped through his veins like it had been infused and he stood in the middle of the crowded with his arms above his head waving like the fucking flower in the breeze that he was. His spirit detached until he was just a body, a body moving along with the flow of the music without following any specific rhythm or beat. The churning bodies around him shifted him around until he had no sense of time nor space. 

Hands touched, elbows jabbed, hips bumped. They were all one under the coloured laser show that made his vision spin until he had to close his eyes. 

Someone backed up into him and he stumbled half a step before the crowd kept him upright and he realized it had been on purpose. His hands went to the hips as an ass started to grind against him. It felt good as the rest of his body felt heavy and numb. His dick was supposed to be Louis’ but there wasn’t a Louis anymore so rubbing against someone else was obviously the answer. 

He nearly lost his balance with every shift of weight, his head spinning as he still kept his eyes shut. What was up felt down or sideways or whatever dimension had opened up. But his feet were still on the floor so he knew somewhere in his mind that he was still upright. 

There were lips on his neck from behind now, too wet, too messy. He swayed and the bodies sandwiched him in and held him up. His grip on the hips in front of him tightened as he tried to steady himself. If he pulled away, he’d end up trampled and swirling into the floor.

Hands tugged at his shirt and then pulled at his buttons until his chest was exposed down to his belt. It wasn’t an uncommon state of dress for him, but it was when there weren’t people close enough to touch, when someone else did it for him. Hands on his skin and up to his nipples that hardened with even the brush of his own shirt. With fingers finding them, alarm bells sounded distantly that he should put a stop to it, that being explored might reveal his omega characteristics to anyone who wanted to acknowledge them. 

But there was still a disconnect between his body and soul, the lines that tethered them together loose and uncoordinated. His reaction got lost in between and so it went on. 

When it was just his body, the attention felt good. Touch was something he rarely received. Everyone treated him like glass, like he was fragile and untouchable. Either that or he was being grabbed by fans in crowds who didn’t care what they touched. None of it satisfied his need. Neither did this, but his body still yielded to it. 

They were omega, he caught a whiff of them in the gaps that formed in the melting pot of pheromones from the dancing bodies around them. Omegas with soft hands that smoothed down his torso and wandered over his body. He wanted to feel something and in that moment he was. 

He felt the tug around his waist as they found his belt, stumbling a half step forward with the pull. A solid body was there to steady him which was good since he was certain the floor had moved beneath him. Maybe it had. With his eyes closed, everything was starting to feel like a strange dream. Maybe he just needed to wake up. 

A hand slipped down his stomach and into his jeans to take hold of his dick. It was half hard just from the rough material as the omega had been grinding against him. His eyes cracked open and immediately squeezed shut when he was blinded by the strong flashing lights. His limbs felt limp and weak as he was fondled which wasn’t how an alpha was supposed to be at all. He could be strong and sexual just like any alpha out there. There were omegas all over his dick right now. That was what the suits had always wanted, right? For omegas to lust after him? To want his big alpha cock? 

He didn’t have a big alpha cock. He knew that. The insecurity in his position was what made him stuff his pants in certain stage outfits. 

And yet it didn’t seem like these omegas cared. They had his dick out and hadn’t dropped it in disgust. They squeezed and stroked it, its natural reaction to get hard. The music was still pounding but their rhythm on him didn’t match. He tried to knock their hands away to take over for himself and huffed when his arms did little more than flop around like limp noodles. 

Then he was being walked backwards, his feet stumbling and getting tangled up in each other until it was the girls practically carrying him. With his eyes closed, it felt like he was hurtling through space until the back of his thighs hit the half wall separating the dance floor from the rest of the bar. It was in the dark back corner so he could lean against the wall when he half sat on the ledge. He tried to open his eyes again but there were still too many lights and they made him dizzy. Darkness was better. 

He felt his thighs being pushed open and he reached for the wall to keep himself from falling backwards. One of the omegas was standing between his legs and he could feel the heat from their dancing against his body now that they weren’t in the middle of the sweaty crowd. His damp skin felt clammy in the chill of air conditioning now and he really wished he had a jacket or maybe a blanket to curl up in. Yes, a blanket would be nice, all snuggly and warm and so easy to drift off to sleep—

Harry didn’t register what was happening until it already was. He was in,  _ oh fuck, _ he was  _ in _ . 

On instinct his hands moved to her hips where he could feel her skirt bunched up around her waist. She was warm and wet and tight and it felt good on a physical level, but it wasn’t right. He didn’t want her slick on his cock when his own was damp between his legs. He could be alpha as long as he wanted until he just wasn’t and right now he definitely wasn’t. This wasn’t scenting or acting for cameras. This was Harry’s dick penetrating another omega and suddenly he wasn’t sure what was going on. 

Disoriented, the lights seemed brighter every time he tried to open his eyes and the room was spinning as he tried to balance on the ledge as the omega started to ride him. Where were the other people? He could still hear the noise of a crowd along with the deafening volume of the music so he knew they were still there. 

It had to be a dream as he fought to open his eyes. It was just a nightmare like standing in front of the class naked or looking down and realizing you’d left the house in only boxers. He’d had those dreams many times, especially before big and important performances. This had to be some manifestation of his recent stress. 

But it had been so long since he had a wet dream, he thought as he came with the sharp scent of omega making him want to sneeze. 

“Did you just come??” A voice shouted way too close to his face. He blinked his eyes open to the bright light of a phone flashlight, raising his hand to shield his eyes. 

The omega got up from his lap and his dick felt wet and gross as it flopped against his hip, deflating fast. Disgusting. He really needed to wake up from this dream. 

  
  


-

  
  


**_Harry Styles: Knotless Popstar?_ **

_ “He came in me but there was nothing there,” his partner for the night dished on Twitter along with the pictures and video clips to back up her claim.  _

_ Styles, obviously intoxicated, can be seen swaying with all the goods on display right on the dance floor. While the material has since been removed, many who saw the uncensored images vouch that there was indeed not even a hint of a knot. This has left the world wondering: is Styles the alpha he claims to be?  _

_ We’ll wait with our decision until the internet has time to present their conspiracy theories. Stay tuned.  _

**_Harry Styles Has Himself Castrated After Joining Bizarre New Religion_ **

_ Harry Styles pulled it out and gave us all a look on a solo night out this past week. While the pictures aren’t clear enough to see the scars, his companions confirm that our king of pop lacks the knot we’ve all been gagging for.  _

_ “It was something personal I kept to myself,” the popstar was heard saying, “It’s like being reborn. I see the world with such clarity now.”  _

_ We’re not sure that alcohol will cleanse the soul, but he’s still a popstar so we suppose it comes with the territory.  _

Louis scrolled through the headlines and article previews in a never ending stream, each one worse than the last. By the time he got to the pictures that had been reposted, it felt like all the blood had drained from his body. His heart beat thudded desperately in his ears, throbbing as it searched for something to pump. He felt lightheaded and his vision narrowed. When the video started to play, Louis felt like he was going to be sick. 

Harry was so wasted that he didn’t know what was going on. Anyone could see that just from looking at his face, from the way his eyes rolled back and his body slumped against the wall. He couldn’t understand how anyone could do such a thing let alone post a video of it. He couldn’t understand how it was still being circulated so many hours later. 

His poor baby, his omega. Harry had been so terrified of being outed that he’d pushed Louis away for his own safety and now some strangers had taken that from him. Where the hell were his bodyguards while this was happening? He’d never seen Harry far from them during any of his other nights out and yet they were absent when it really mattered. 

Louis’ own heartbreak and betrayal snapped into perspective with Harry’s body being exposed on the internet against his will. 

He stumbled over his feet before he realized he was climbing out of bed. He needed to talk to him. He needed to make sure he was alright. 

“Liam!” Louis banged on his roommate’s door, hysterical as if he was about to be murdered. He tried the knob after a moment and found it unlocked. 

His eyes didn’t even focus as Liam and his girlfriend scrambled to cover themselves, both startled and sleepy eyed as they looked up at him after being so suddenly woken. 

“I need Harry’s number.” Louis commanded. His arm was held out with his phone in his hand like he might hold a handgun pointed at them. He didn’t know what to do or how to control his body. He barely remembered walking in. His hand started to shake when they stared at him in confusion. 

His tone was even and low, menacing even, as they stared at him with widening eyes. “I fucking need Harry fucking Styles’ phone number right fucking now.” 

“I can’t just give you Harry’s number, he’s a famous musician who—”

“HE’S MY FUCKING OMEGA AND HE NEEDS ME!” Louis screamed in a pitch and volume he didn’t know he could reach. 

“Harry’s an alph—” 

“He’s not alpha– we’ve been talking for months and I need his fucking number right now.” 

“If you’ve been talking for months then—” 

“NUMBER NOW, EXPLAIN LATER! THIS IS AN EMERGENCY!!” Louis shrieked and by her large eyes and the way she fumbled with her phone, Louis knew he had scared her. 

He only had a moment to feel bad as her hand shook before his mission hit him again and the urgency flooded back around them. He could tell Liam was conflicted about whether to intervene but didn’t say anything as Louis’ phone went off with the text message alert that contained Harry’s number. 

“Explain later!” Louis said again with a wave of his hand as he slammed the bedroom door shut behind him. 

Now it was his turn for his hands to start shaking. He had no way of knowing if Harry would even take his call. He might hang up the moment he heard Louis’ voice. His anger had been so strong that night and Louis had stomped out on him. There had been no closure and a lot of time for wounds to fester. 

He held his phone to his ear and his stomach dropped when it went straight to voicemail. The prompt was just the automated voice reading the phone number back so Louis couldn’t confirm that it even was Harry’s real number. He didn’t care. 

“Baby,” Louis couldn’t stop his voice from trembling, “I saw what happened and I need to know where you are. I’ll get there as soon as I can, just please tell me where you are…” 

He left a long stretch of silence at the end where he wasn’t sure what to say but couldn’t force himself to hang up. 

After he finally did, he pulled up Harry’s tour schedule and found that he had a few days off before his next show which meant he could be anywhere. Louis didn’t know the details of Harry’s real life when they talked so he didn’t know what Harry did with his days off apart from talking to Louis. He didn’t know if he stayed in that city, moved on to the next, or even if he went home for a few days. 

Maybe if he got in his car and just started driving he could be that much closer to him when he finally called.  _ If _ he finally called. 

Louis decided he couldn’t wait around to find out. He scrambled to pull on some clothes while typing searches into twitter and reaching into the far corners of Harry’s fandom. It was something he’d never done, not before he knew who  _ his _ Harry was and definitely not after. It was hard enough to see his headlines and his songs that always seemed to be on the radio wherever Louis went. 

But now he needed to. It was the only thing Louis could think of. 

It wasn’t difficult to find worried fans confirming that Harry hadn’t been seen leaving his last hotel which alarmingly wasn’t difficult to find mentioned. It would be hours of driving with no guarantee Harry would still be there once he arrived, but he had to do it. His adrenaline was pumping and every alpha instinct he had pushed him towards the omega he had at least subconsciously claimed months ago. 

His calls continued to go straight to voicemail as he sped towards his destination in silence. Having the radio on was too much stimulation for his already hyperactive mind. His focus was narrowed to a pinprick and that was all he could handle. He wouldn’t be able to relax until he could see for himself that Harry was okay. 

  
  


-

  
  


Morning turned into day turned into night and still Harry had no sense of the time passing. His hangover had been trumped by the catastrophic and public fallout he’d awoken to after thinking he’d been so slick about sneaking out. He didn’t even have a clear memory of what had happened, only the front page of the paper slammed down in front of him and then the videos played for him that made him relive every moment – all of it in front of the suits that had flown in exclusively for his public shaming. 

Harry’s life was over. His  _ career  _ was over. Years of careful steps to hide who he really was and suffering had been demolished in one night and he had no one but himself to blame. 

Watching the dark and grainy videos of himself was like watching things that surfaced on the dark web. He couldn’t even hold his head up while the girls laughed and taunted him. He didn’t remember any of that. The things that followed were the flashes of the night that Harry could pull up in blurry and fractured moments. Had he not seen the evidence, he probably would have challenged whether they were real or just leftovers from a strange dream. 

Even worse, this is what the world had seen. This would shape everyone’s opinion of him for possibly the rest of his life. Drunk and out of control secret omega who lets anyone have their way with him. That was who he was now. 

He hung his head in shame. It was like finally being arrested after years of not being caught. He wanted to be out, but not like this. Of all the ways he thought it would happen, this had never been in the realm of possibility. 

And then he had been dismissed, led to his room like he was being led to his cell to await his sentence. He’d been on the bed ever since, curled on his side and staring at the imperfections on the blank white wall. There weren’t even any tears. He was just there, existing in a time and space where nothing felt real. Everything was blank, everything was null. 

There would be a time to beat himself up about everything he’d done wrong. There would be a time to be angry, to mourn what he’d lost. There would be a time to process everything, but it was not when his system had overloaded and stuttered to a halt. 

He didn’t even flinch when there was a knock on his door and then the sound of the electronic lock and then loud turn of the door handle. It always irritated him how his team always managed to get a key for his room. So much for privacy and security. At least he usually had the security latch and deadbolt turned, but he must have spaced when he returned whenever that was. 

But the scent that hit him now wasn’t anyone on his team. He was familiar with the scents of the alpha security team members and the nearly nonexistent beta ones of Jeff and assistants. Smelling a bit like chocolate and rich, roasted coffee beans, this alpha wasn’t familiar yet not unfamiliar either. He closed his eyes and just let it fill the space around him. It occupied the room in a way that didn’t feel like it was crowding him out. It made the space feel less lonely. It made him feel less hollow. 

“Harry?”

Harry knew that voice. That  _ voice _ was something familiar. If he closed his eyes tight enough it almost felt like any other night in another hotel room, calling Louis even just to get his emotions out into the universe so they didn’t eat him from the inside out. 

It was possible that Harry was hallucinating so he kept his eyes shut, his body frozen where it was curled up. Maybe he’d fallen asleep without realizing it and this dream was just his wishful thinking. 

He felt the mattress dip with the weight of someone climbing in beside him. He still kept his eyes closed. 

“Harry,” the voice said again, softer this time, a hint above a whisper. The twitch of Harry’s shoulder as the scent grew stronger gave him away. He felt a gentle kiss pressed against it. 

He took in a deep breath as he felt Louis settle in behind him, an arm wrapping around his middle to pull him close to his chest. 

The next word was murmured and suddenly Harry broke down. 

“ _ Baby _ .” 

It hit him like a wave though not in ugly violent sobs, but a rush of quiet tears. In some ways it was more intense with how intimate it was there in Louis’ arms like he’d fantasized about so many times. 

Louis just let him cry which was probably what he needed though he wasn’t ready to admit it. 

When he emerged on the other end, Harry felt like a different person without the secrets weighing him down. Having time to process, at least he knew he didn’t have to live the lies anymore. Whatever happened, there was that. 

“How are you?” Louis asked when the tears had finally dried up. 

Harry just shrugged. He didn’t feel fine. He hadn’t magically recovered. He’d still lost his career and his dream. 

“Not great,” Harry mumbled and waited for the tears to return. When they didn’t, he sighed. “I’ll have to cancel my tour and put out a statement for my fans. They’re all going to hate me.” 

“They’re not going to hate you,” Louis said with hesitation. 

Harry rolled over in his arms so they were facing, not caring about his puffy, tearstained appearance. 

“You don’t have to sugar coat it or lie to me about it. I know what I did and what’s going to happen. I lied to them this whole time and pretended to be something that I’m not while I stand there every night telling them to be themselves. I’m such a hypocrite, Louis. That and who is going to support me now knowing I’m an omega? That’s why I had to pretend to be an alpha in the first place.” 

Louis searched his face with a strange expression, one that said he had something he wasn’t sure he should say. Harry braced himself for it. He could take it. Whatever it was, he didn’t think anything could make it worse. 

“I think you should look outside,” he finally said. 

“Why?” 

“I just think you need to look outside.” 

Harry didn’t move until Louis finally nudged him, his face void of any hint of what he might find. 

His legs felt like rubber when he finally stood and he felt light headed for a moment after being horizontal for so long. The journey across the room took longer than it should have, but Harry was nervous. He glanced back and saw Louis had remained seated on the bed, encouraging him on with a small gesture. 

It was dark outside, but Harry wasn’t certain what time it was. It could have been three in the morning for all he knew. His room was on a high floor yet he could still see the massive crowd of people that had gathered along the hotel drive and overflowed into the parking lot. There were so many that they had brought out some makeshift barricades and had formal looking security herding them back. 

His first thought was that they were angry protesters, all of them looking agitated or energetic. 

And then, as he was about to ask Louis why he thought seeing the protesters would help, Harry caught sight of a large sign one of them was holding. In bold hand drawn letters, it wasn’t what he was expecting.  _ Omega Rights. _

Not all of them had signs, but that wasn’t the only one in the crowd.  _ Omega and Proud _ .  _ Gender Shouldn’t Determine Success _ .  _ Free Harry _ .  _ Harry We Still Love You _ . 

It all brought tears to his eyes for a different reason. 

“Did you know there is a big part of your fanbase who has suspected this whole time?” Louis asked from beside him. 

He shook his head. He had no idea. They always told him he’d be nothing if people knew. He’d always been told his fanbase wouldn’t care about an omega. 

“It was a long drive to get here and I kind of scared Liam and Jess this morning…. So they called me with updates and were telling me all about it. Apparently they have long proof posts with pictures and videos and other ‘evidence’,” Louis raised his fingers for air quotes. 

“They have proof?”

“A bunch of it apparently. To be honest, I haven’t looked myself.” 

“But I thought I was doing so well,” Harry said mostly to himself. Hours of practicing in front of mirrors and coaching and reviewing videos where he wasn’t alpha enough, it had all been so much work and apparently it had been all for nothing. 

“They’re all here for me?” Harry needed the confirmation just to make sure he wasn’t hallucinating. 

“All for you. They think there’s an evil conspiracy to force you into pretending to be an alpha.” 

Harry let out a small laugh. “There was. What does my team think about this?” 

“How should I know? It was hard enough sneaking in here.” 

Harry laughed again, a nervous bubble of excitement growing in him. 

“I can’t believe you did that. I can’t believe you’re here after what I said.” 

Louis shrugged and slid his arm around Harry’s waist. 

“It hurt, I won’t lie, but I spent months talking to you to know that wasn’t how you normally acted. When I saw the articles and the pictures…”

“Don’t remind me,” Harry said softly. 

“I couldn’t stand the thought of you going through everything alone.” 

He couldn’t believe how many people had gathered to support him let alone that Louis was there “Thank you.” 

“I just want you to know that I never would have sold you out,” Louis said softly and really Harry had known that all along. 

“I know,” he nods. 

“And I would really love a chance to be your alpha. If you’ll let me.” 

“It won’t be easy,” Harry warned him. No matter how everything played out, there wasn’t one scenario that would be easy. He didn’t want to put anyone through that and yet he liked the idea of not having to go through everything alone. 

“I never thought you’d be easy,” Louis shrugged with a timid grin. “I didn’t know much about your life but I could tell nothing about it was easy.” 

“Being on stage was easy,” Harry smiled, the slow sense of freedom slipping into him pushing forward all the good memories he had. 

“And I can’t wait to see you on stage again.” 

He turned to find Louis’ face so bright and full of optimism. 

“You think I’ll be on stage again?” he can’t help but ask. 

“Of course you will. The world needs an omega like you. They just didn’t know you were already around.” 

Louis’ little smirk was infectious and Harry couldn’t help but grin back. He lunged forward and then they were sharing their first kiss, better than anything Harry had thought up in his head. 

There would be a lot of things Harry would regret over his lifetime, but calling a sex hotline would never be one of them. 

  
  
  
  
  



End file.
